Gus Malzahn created rona to give Bo Picks another year to develop

May 14, 2020

The latest conspiracy to develop surrounding SARS-CoV-2 is that the virus was manufactured by Gus Malzahn to allow Bo Nix another year to grow as the Auburn QB. When you really think about it for a second, it makes sense. Auburn has always been known as a cow college because of their great veterinary school as well as the large amount of land surrounding the campus. They even put a glass stomach in a cow so you can watch how cows digest food and make cud. It would make sense that they could have been developing this disease in bats somewhere down on the plains.

Next comes the how. Well, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that Tim Cook is on all this as well. Yes, that Tim Cook. The one from Apple. Who has production facilities within 500 KM (sounds close to me) of Wuhan aka Rona central. They also get some of their supply from actual Wuhan. It makes too much sense that Gus would be able to call up Timmy C from Apple and get him one of these bats to send over there. Is that a stretch at all? Not to me. See below for INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE OF THE GUS BUS!!

Finally we get to the why. With Auburn slated to play Georgia and Alabama on the road this year, away from the voodoo witch castle that is Jordan-Hare, it would make sense for Gus to want to give Bo Pix a little more time to develop. If Gus can’t beat the Tide or the Dawgs next year Auburn fans will be calling for his head, which they will anyway after they lose to UNC, Ole Mi$$, and Texas A&M because the Auburn Family is a total scam.

Gus Malzahn's Reaction To Bo Nix's Interception Is Going Viral

This all makes sense to me and if you don’t agree with me then I just don’t understand how you can’t see it. Read between the lines a little bit you sheeple.

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*parody*…maybe idk I don’t wanna get sued if it’s not true