Well we’ve made it to where the season usually ends. What should be week 12 is now week 9 (?). Only thing that remains the same is that this is still rivalry week, kind of. To be honest I don’t know what rivalry games are today outside of the Iron Bowl. What I do know is that that’s the only game that matters today (and the other 5 in the teaser). So now’s the time to wake up, start deleting beers, and start hating the team your football team is playing today. And also, to win some free money.
Story time: Last year post Iron Bowl I was in a fit of rage and I wandered around my neighborhood and yelled at dogs for an hour and a half. This year I’m at the beach and I’m really afraid that if Alabama loses I’m going to ruin a family’s beach trip. This is why we should all root for Alabama 🙂
THE TEASER
NORTHWESTERN (-7.5) VS MICHIGAN STATE
Northwestern wins this game by two touchdowns. Last week I was wrong about Northwestern. I was wrong to bet with my heart and instead I’m betting with my brains this week. This is a very good football team. They’re very hard to score on and they just run clock whenever they’re on offense. They suffocate Michigan State today and cover this 7.5 easy.
INDIANA (-5) VS MARYLAND
Michael Penix Jr balled out last weekend. IU had their heartbroken last weekend by the Buckeyes, and this is an obvious bounce back game. I like this Maryland team a lot, but I think they’re still a couple years away. Indiana and Tom Allen aren’t losing two in a row and I like them to cover this -5 as well as -11 if you want to bet them straight up.
PURDUE VS RUTGERS (+17)
YOUR FAMILY, YOUR RELIGION, AND RUTGAAAAS FOOTBALL. The quote is actually Rutgaaas basketball but still applies. I’m going to be honest I know nothing about Purdue football and all I know about Rutgas is that they got the Schiano man. Purdue averages 26.5 ppg and they allow 26.25 ppg. How in the world are they going to beat anyone by 17 or more?
OKLAHOMA STATE (-5.5)
Oklahoma State has the best defense in the Big 12 this year. Granted that’s like saying they’re the tallest midget but still. They have a solid offense as well and they’ve also got Chubba Chubba Choo Choo starting at running back for them. I’ll take the Pokes at -5.5 this week as they take down Duggs and Gunnar Wesson at Texas Tech.
ALABAMA (-18) VS AUBRIN POOP LEE COUNTY COW COLLEGE
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Aubrin is poopoo. They are super stinky. I hate them. They’re tacky and I hate them. On the other hand, I love Alabama. We gonna boatrace these cow folk. Gonna smash them. This game is a burial. Sark will coach the game of his life and Alabama will win this game by 40 something. Roll Tide. Spaghetti and Meatballs.
OLÉ MISS (-3.5) VS MISS STATE
The Lane Train keeps it rolling easily here. Super lowkey, like the lowest of keys, Matt Corrall might be the best QB in the SEC. Does Miss State even have a QB? We saw what Alabama’s offense did to Miss State. We saw what an inept Georgia offense did to Miss St. Ole Miss is better than both of those and should score over 50 points easy. Miss St should also be pretty beat up post UGA last weekend and I think that will show. This one covers -3.5 easy.
That’s the end of the teaser but here’s some more plays below if you want them.
PARLAY
This is kind of a fun one just because of where we are in the calendar. Let’s all be LSU fans today:
LSU (+2.5) VS ST. LOUIS (COLLEGE HOOPS) & LSU (+15.5) VS TAMU +260
OTHER PICKS
SOUTH CAROLINA (+21.5)
KANSAS STATE (+6)
OLE MISS TEAM TOTAL OVER 37.5
ALABAMA (-14) FIRST HALF OVER 23.5