Dod Dodson
Rivalry weekend. The weekend that makes your cousin show his true colors after getting too drunk at the Thanksgiving gathering. The weekend that determines conference championship matchups, playoff berths and shots at the national title. The weekend that leads to players doing irrational things like pretending to urinate like a dog (more on that later).
Traditional blue-blood matchups that determine the outcomes of seasons take place this weekend, such as The Game with Ohio State and Michigan and The Iron Bowl between Alabama and Auburn. However, as with anything, the good, the bad and the ugly all exist in some form during rivalry weekend as well. Here are rivalry games to look out for and other matchups that will make your remote change the channel on its own.
All times central (best time zone)
All rankings via CFP
THE GOOD
Thursday:
The Egg Bowl – No. 9 Ole Miss at Miss State – 6:30 p.m. – ESPN
This rivalry embodies everything about college football: a strange bowl name, fanbases that actually hate one another, two head coaches that are anything but normal and wacky moments like a player being compelled to urinate like a dog. Bulldogs head man Mike Leach is just happy candy corn season is behind us, while Ole Miss head man Lane Kiffin may never touch popcorn again. Regardless, this game has huge bowl implications for Ole Miss, while Miss State can put the cap on what they would likely consider a successful season. Both quarterbacks have proven how tough they are this season, taking beatings at times. They are going to need to prove it again in a game that is less forgiving than Kevin Durant in his Instagram comments.
Friday:
No. 16 Iowa at Nebraska – 12:30 p.m. – BTN
Watching these two programs put up 150 yards of combined offense in a 10-3 ballgame decided on a fumble recovery by a guy who was herding cows earlier that morning is as traditional of a Thanksgiving weekend pastime as anything in America. Why is this game in the “good” category? A couple reasons. Reason 1: the two teams hate each other more than I hate being wrong, which I never am. Reason 2: Nebraska has been in every single game they have played in. I would say Scott Frost is not one for moral victories such as that, but this is the same man who was head coach of the UCF team that claimed a national championship in 2017 after beating an Auburn team that had wanted to be in the college football playoff, or really anywhere else other than stuck playing UCF.
Saturday:
The Game – No. 2 Ohio State at No. 5 Michigan – 11 a.m. – FOX
The Game. The Game that Ohio State has dominated recently. The Game that Jim Harbaugh cannot win. Is this the year that things change? With the match being in Ann Arbor, anything can happen. This includes Harbaugh coming out in receiving gloves for warmups while also pretending he is the inventor of khakis. Ever since he decided to subtweet Nick Saban back in 2016, Harbaugh’s fashion statements have been much better than his team’s statements on the gridiron. However, he has recruited very well at Michigan, and some of that talent is starting to show. Only problem? Ohio State recruits even better. Their receiving core puts the fear of God into everyone they face, and their recruiting at QB is so good that the current Heisman frontrunner may not even be starting next year. That’s a harsher replacement than when “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” replaced Aunt Vivian with another actress and pretended none of us would notice.
The Iron Bowl – No. 3 Alabama at Auburn – 2:30 p.m. – CBS
Speaking of the fear of God, that is what has happened time and time again to rivals playing in Jordan Hare Stadium in November. While Alabama is a heavy favorite, and rightfully so, Bama fans who have been around long enough know that nothing is guaranteed in a place that seems to conjure up more wacky moments than anywhere else in the country. T.J. Finley certainly is no Bo Nix, and even more certainly is no Bryce Young. But there is a reality where Auburn keeps this a tight ballgame. In 2009, Alabama was undefeated and Auburn was unranked, but the Tigers almost pulled off the upset of the season. I was at that game and almost passed out. Yes, I am dramatic.
Penn State at No. 12 Michigan State – 2:30 p.m. – ABC
There is no shame of being upper-middle management of the Big 10 East, which is what these two teams are. There is no shame in being a fringe team that can be a national contender some years and 7-5 in other years. This matchup is the battle of coaches who have benefitted the most from the late season coaching carousel. Both MSU’s Mell Tucker and PSU’s James Franklin cashed in with huge contract extensions this week after fears both would leave for Florida, LSU, USC or maybe even Virginia Tech. In other words, Ed Orgeron, Dan Mullen and Clay Helton have made Tucker and Franklin very rich men. While money is the ultimate motivator to keep a coach at a school, the athletic directors for the Spartans and Nittany Lions probably reminded their respective coaches that there is currently a mass exodus of talent from the USC, LSU and Florida programs on a scale not seen since the last time USC fired their coach and their recruits decommitted. Is there a pattern emerging? It also does not help that Alabama and Georgia go into California, Louisiana and Florida and exclusively pick and choose their talent as if they are filling out their order at Which Which.
The Bedlam Game – No. 10 Oklahoma at No 7. Oklahoma State – 6:30 – ABC
At last. The game I have been looking forward to all year is upon us. After the mishigas of love, loss and betrayal seen amongst the OSU Cowboys after their friendly rivals Oklahoma left them for the glitz and glamour known as the SEC with their hated rivals the Texas Longhorns, OSU has been waiting for their chance to show the Sooners they made the wrong relationship choice. The betrayal OSU feels may boil over to a second matchup in the Big 12 Championship Game. It also helps that both teams are fighting for their playoff lives. I have been told there is no light around Pickens Stadium once it becomes nighttime, darkening the skies and surrounding areas in epic proportions. While this is scientifically impossible, it certainly makes me want to watch the game even more. This could be the finale of the ballad (a tragic tale) of Spencer Rattler before he becomes an offensive analyst at Alabama.
THE BAD
Thursday:
NFL Bonus Game: Chicago Bears 16 Detroit Lions 14.
Football has been cancelled for the remainder of 2021. Sports are cancelled in Chicago and Detroit. Real life bears and lions are cancelled as well. This game set football back so far it does not even exist anymore. The Lions gave up 300 yards to Andy Dalton. The Bears almost lost to the Lions. I have a buddy who sets 15 alarms each morning, only to not wake up to any of them. He still has better clock management than the Lions’ coach Campbell does. The Lions called two timeouts in a row, both of which they needed, and got a five-yard penalty as a result, giving the Bears a 3rd and 4 instead of 3rd and 9, which they would end up converting before kicking the game winning field goal. To make matters worse, the Lions tried to call a THIRD timeout but the other coach in over his head, Matt Nagy of the Bears, decided to call a timeout first. Pure pandemonium in the most disgusting way imaginable.
Friday:
Texas at Kansas State – 11 a.m. – FOX
Texas is so bad that they don’t even get a rivalry game during rivalry week. The ratings for this game could be worse than a re-run of the Drake and Josh movie. Texas has lost six in a row, which is almost incomprehensible since they were just a play away from beating Oklahoma. Thoroughly enjoying the demise of the Longhorns is Oklahoma State, after Texas stole their man of OU and darted for the SEC. It has been so bad that Coach Sark actually finds himself on the hot seat. It is also worth mentioning that “hot” is the only temperature seemingly available for the seat of Texas coaches. Additionally, it is worth noting that Kansas State QB Skylar Thompson, who was injured last week, and us at TIR wish him well, has been around for every Texas coaching change dating back to Darrell K. Royal.
Saturday:
Florida State at Florida – 11 a.m. – ESPN
The state of Florida used to be known for three things: old people, weird people and great football. This is thanks to the former powerhouses of Florida, FSU and Miami. Now, the state of Florida is known for three things: old people, weird people and horrible football. This is thanks to the same three teams, which now see themselves as shadows of their old selves and being made fun of by a school in Orlando that only just discovered football four years ago: the UCF Knights. As it turns out, Dan Mullen is not better than the rest of us, despite his best efforts to make sure we felt that way. Both teams need a win to become bowl eligible. It is going to be an absolutely horrid display of football between two teams who hate each other and are playing for a chance to travel to Nashville in mid-December to play Boston College in 30-degree weather in front of 200 fans.
THE UGLY
Saturday:
No. 24 Houston at UConn – 11 a.m. – CBSSN
Having to travel to Connecticut during the week of Thanksgiving has to be the worst holiday travel plans ever. Houston is favored by -32.5. UConn has won one game and fired their head coach, who famously said he had the best job in the world. Saying UConn is the best job in the world might be a tad bit of an exaggeration. I am not sure, but I can think of a few jobs I would rather have. I would rather be Joffrey Baratheon’s fool than be the head coach of UConn. The jester taking over the Husky program, Jim Mora, is in for one heck of a rebuilding job. He may resign after what the Cougars do to them on Saturday. It may be the quickest resignation since I worked at Donatos Pizza for 20 minutes. He is related to the man who most famously went on the ”playoffs?” rant as the coach for the Colts. I don’t think anyone will be asking him about the playoffs at UConn.
Vanderbilt at Tennessee – 2:45 p.m. – SENC
Vanderbilt does not have a prayer in this game. The Volunteers are favored by -31.5, which has to be a Power Five record for points favored by a 6-5 team. UT looks great at times, especially on offense. It makes you wonder how they would have been if OU running back Eric Gray and Alabama star linebacker Henry To’o To’o had stayed in Knoxville. Their new head coach, Josh Huepel, was the right man for the job. He also left UCF for the job, which is always a good idea. Tennessee fans are still salty over Vanderbilt students jamming out to “Rocky Top” after their most recent victory of their in-state rivals. However, that will not be taking place this year. At this point, the Vanderbilt baseball team and Scottie Pippen Jr. probably stand a better chance of playing football on Saturday versus the Vols.
Adam Dodson is the Sports Editor for The News Courier
Dod Dodson is a contributing writer for TIR