Georgia, Geeeeeeorgiaaaaaaa. The whole dayyyy throughhhh. Just an old sweet song, Keeps Georgiaaaaaaa on my miiiiiiiind.
Now that we’ve paid homage to the peach state, my birth State and sort of home state, I feel comfortable to welcome everyone to the unofficial start of the spring. That fraud puxatawny phil doesn’t know anything. Until 6 weeks after groundhogs day is Masters Thursday then that vermin can stay in the ground. Lotta storylines to keep an eye on this weekend. How will the LIV guys play in a “hostile” environment? Can Rory get the green jacket wearing monkey off his back? Will I bet on Tony Finau? Will the Taste of the Masters box I’m digging into this weekend actually be good? Does egg salad travel well (can’t imagine it does)? Bout to have to break out my rotation of masters polos for the next few days. Let’s ride.
TO WIN
Rory McIlroy +700
We’re liking what we’re seeing from our guy. I have an inside scoop that he’s playing the best he has in his life and has played 81 holes at Augusta in the past two weeks and dominated. Apparently he played a round last week there and only had nineteen (19) putts. THAT’S CRAZY!!! He will dominate this weekend, but we need him to just not shoot himself in the foot super hard Thursday and Friday and if he does that he’s gonna have a new jacket in his wardrobe.
SCOTTIE SCHEFFLER +700
Dudes a machine. He’s an absolute animal and is as hot as anyone has been in golf in a while. Also did you see the menu??? Sliders served Scottie Style?? That’s a meal a man who’s feeling it serves his subordinates friends. He’s also a huge God guy and we all know Sunday is Easter. The signs people. Biggest question is who puts the jacket on a repeat winner?
TIGER +5400
Imagine Tiger Woods wins the Masters and you didn’t bet on him. Exactly.
TOP 5/10/25
Will Zalatoris +700 top 5
He still sucks at putting but he turns up in big tournaments. Also these are really good odds. Apparently he’s been sick and is skinnier than normal so he needs to be careful in case a strong wind blows.
Tony Finau +190 top 10
WHERE HE BE NOW. HES 5 UNDER, HES 5 UNDER. Tony gonna win this whole thing fr fr. The only thing that could stop him is if the anti Finau deep state (the hill coming down hole 16 where he exploded his ankle a few years ago) rises against him. After watching Full Swing tho how can you not love this guy? He’s a money machine and he’s starting to win regularly. Don’t let the boy get hot! BIG TONE
Jason Day +215 top 10
He playing good and he always plays good at Augusta. After not qualifying last year I feel like he’ll be back with a vengeance and something to prove this year. Not enough firepower to win but enough to really compete.
Sung Jae +105 top 20
HM Son. Yuki Tsunoda. Shohei Ohtani. Kobayashi. My love for Asian athletes is truly unmatched and Sung Jae might be at the top of my list. The sweet Korean prince is a force to be reckoned with. Don’t let the slow swing fool you. My man has the power and the ability to win this thing, but he’s off to a slow start this year.
VERY FUN BAD BOY PARLAY
CAM SMITH top 10, DJ top 20, PATRICK REED top 30 +1800
This is an incredibly fun bet. It makes me feel a wee bit slimy but I kinda love it. I imagine that’s how these three feel all the time except they’re also rich. Which we will also be after these fellas slot into their spots.