I don’t really know where to start this one. I could tell you how we have a great day of football and that all of these games are huge. This is true. We do have a great day of football with huge games. But I don’t really care. It’s not my fault. All I can think about is the Tide. It gives me chills thinking about Milroe to Bond last weekend. Thinking about the defense coming up big when they needed to. Finding a way to win when all seemed lost. Because guess what, that’s what everyone’s saying about today too. Bama’s got no shot, UGA should win handily, bama is the worst one loss team in the country blah blah blah. All we got to say to all that is LANK.
It’s time to wake up. Time to put on the boots and jeans get in the shower then put on your boots and jeans another time. Time to hit the lick lick store and pick up a 30 rack of natural light. A fireball party pack. And most importantly, a handle of Evan green. Dirty soda spike Lee, white girl iced tea, fully loaded AP😳. I know it’s hot bc I just took a piss and I seen crimson coming out. LANK
THE “GET BAMA TO THE PLAYOFF” PARLAY
Me and Ders cooked up sumn special for today. We only had one real option for the parlay and it’s gotta hit bc idk what I’m gonna do if it doesn’t. Our model (combination of eye test + what we want to happen) has this as a winner. If you’ve ridden with us this far you gotta keep riding now. If you haven’t ridden with us this far, hop on the train. I’m also doing no analysis. I don’t look at stats I make picks and get people fired up about the tide.
OKLAHOMA STATE +5.5
If You Devote Yourself To An Ideal, They Can’t Stop You, Then You Become Something Else Entirely: A Legend.
That’s what we can do today. All season we’ve worked to get to this point. Even after the USF game, the goal remained the same. Get to Atlanta. Well cash the ticket. Destiny arrives all the same. The whole slogan for the school is “Where Legends Are Made”. LANK that it’s true.
LOUISVILLE +2.5
This guy’s walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can’t get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, “Hey you, can you help me out?” The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up “Father, I’m down in this hole, can you help me out?” The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. “Hey Joe, it’s me, can you help me out?” And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, “Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.” The friend says, “Yeah, but I’ve been down here before, and I know the way out.”
In the hole. Backs against the wall. Playing on the razor’s edge. Nothing new to us. We been here before. We been here every Saturday for as long as I can remember. Buckle up. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS. We running it byke. And we teaching the bulldogs to behave. LANK
ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE +5.5
“See I don’t fight fair na I don’t fight fair
Gucci Mane’ll put that ass in intensive care
Matter of fact if ya see me fight a grizzly bear, I suggest you help the grizzly bear”
We are fighting a grizzly bear today. They are a very good team. They don’t make mistakes and they don’t beat themselves. But there’s one simple thing that separates us from them. We’re Alabama and they’re not. In the words of Rolando McClain we Alabama cuz they way we do shit. And in the words of Damion Square, they may look like they want it but I guarantee you he don’t want it. ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY THE NEXT MAN ON THE MF SCHEDULE. YOU THINK THEY CAN COME INTO BRYANT DENNY EAST AND PUNK US? HELL NAH. ITS JUDGEMENT DAY FOR THESE PUPPY DAWGS.
TALMBOUT THEY GOT A COACHING ADVANTAGE. THEIR COACH IS NAMED FOR A MF WHO IS PINK AND LITERALLY SUCKS‼️ THEIR QUARTERBACK BEEN PUTTING NUTS IN HIS MOUF SINCE THE ICE AGE‼️ ITS TIME TO GO TEACH SID WHAT A BAMA SANDWICH IS. IF YOU NOT PISSED OF FOR GREATNESS IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU‼️GET YOUR MIND RIGHT. TIME TO REASCEND. LANK‼️
HEY GEORGIA
YOU’RE NEXT
*I know Goldberg went to uga I just don’t care that’s his problem