Folks, I regret to inform you that after working out yesterday (no big deal) I was putting shampoo in my hair and next thing I know my back and neck kinda seized up. I’m playing through a lot of pain today. I feel like Batman in Batman Begins where he can’t turn his head bc the suit won’t let him except I’m not batman and my suit is just my trapezius muscles. Going to make it difficult to do my afternoon slate hot girl walk with the iPad set up on the treadmill. Everyone in the gym ooh’s and ah’s watching a master at work. I’m not a hero. I just can’t turn my head like one. Thank goodness the tide won yesterday. Got a little hairy there. The Xanderson sort of hit. Pushed on Washington but the other two legs were winners so that’s big. If anyone has any good recs on what to eat this week lmk. Gotta create the menu here in a little. Aight. T’s and P’s for my necc please. Let’s get funky.

TEXANS mL vs AINTS

I like the Texans a lot. They got DeMeco, they got Will Anderson, they got Metchie, and I’m a big Stroud boy. Meanwhile the saints refuse to play Jameis and that is infuriating. I hope Kamara has 5 touchdowns and nobody else on that team does anything. I hope Stroud has 6 touchdowns and the Texans win. And I think they will. Dennis Allen is kind of a football terrorist (he’s 18-40 as a HC in his career) and I think we’ll see DeMeco expose him today. Roll Texans.

FIRST TD SCORER STEFON DIGGS

A nice little treat waiting on us at the end of the day. I like Diggs to score first and often. Giants are booty and the bills should have their way with them. Weird line though at 14.5 but the o/u is set at 44. Think the bills will win this 28-13. We’ll see what happens. Time will tell.

COLTS 1H mL +145

Why not us? Jonathan Taylor with a 200 yard day today. Colts get up big early and then choke it away. 1H will be good tho. Shoutout DMCD

CAESAR SALAD TEASER

Lordy I had a good Caesar salad last night. It inspired me to be better picker. I immediately put a play on UNC to cover against Miami and what do you know. They did. That’s why we love a dank Caesar and why we’re going back to the well today. Shoutout anchovies. 6.5 points on the tease +500.

VIKINGS BEARS o37

This is so low it’s scary. Neither of these teams has any defense at all. Justin Jefferson is out but it’s time for KJ Osborne and Addison to step it up. Should be an easy game for them to do so. Fields goes for 200+ total yards. Final score here 24-17.

NINERS -3 vs CLEVELAND

Cleveland is starting PJ Walker today. The niners are starting their regular players. This will get ugly fast.

DOLPHINS -7.5 vs CAROLINA

I’m sorry Bryce. You don’t deserve this. Put you should be honored to be a sacrifice to the dolphins. Brycis, expect us. Sincerely, Tuanon.

PATS +9.5 vs VEGAS

This is Macs last chance. Rumor is that Will Grier might takeover in New England. That’s horrendous. Have some pride Mac. Just gotta outperform Jimmy G. You can do it.

RAMS -0.5 vs CARDINALS

I already hate this pick. The problem is that since it’s now a 0.5 line there’s only one way that we can win and it’s that the rams have to win. Watch this game end in a tie. Somebody let Stafford know I was lobbying for him to be HOF one day last night. Maybe that’ll fire him up and he throws more passes to Kupp and Puka. This is the most dangerous one on the card today. Cards are frisky.

LIONS +3.5 vs BUCS

I’m taking my guy JG here over the bakeshow. Goff goes for 300 in da air. David Montgomery gets 2 tudders. Baker throws 3 picks. We channel our inner Dan Campbell today, “It doesn’t matter if you have one ass cheek and three toes I will beat your ass”. Ok. 🦧. Nobody knows what it means but it’s provocative. GETS THE PEOPLE GOING‼️