Nothing like getting to the airport and your gate is D10000 so you gotta walk 2 miles to get to the area you sit down. 7AM and sweaty from walking and dodging people who just stop in the middle of the walkway. But alas we made it. And if this isn’t a good way to start off the most hateful day of the year then idk what is. My piss, or what’s left of it after being so dehydrated from my walk, is boiling. I been listening to Lil Wayne say “I got hate in my heart” in Drop the World over and over and over again since waking up. I might fight this inflatable gingerbread man decoration because he’s got a orange and blue present. It’s not crazy, it’s sports. Shoutout to Ole Miss for winning Lane Kiffin’s last egg bowl before he goes to Texas AM. Whatever the opposite of a shoutout is for Texas and Oregon. Why do they keep winning? Anyway, for one last time during this regular season 😭 it’s time to suit up. Get the boots and jeans on. Get in the shower. Get the boots and jeans on. Get a four loko and buckle up. It’s rivalries all day today. Spaghetti and meatballs. Let’s get funky. Roll Tide.
OHIO STATE +3.5 vs DADDY’S BOY JIM
This is a mid off between two highly overrated teams who have really dislikable coaches. We got born on 3rd base Ryan day and we got Jon Harbaugh’s cheatin brother Daddy’s Boy Jim. Cade McCord vs JJ McCarthy. Ohio vs Michigan. Could this game be any whiter? I hope Ohio state wins 2-0 and the committee just goes PEEE EW and leaves these clown shows at home. Yuck.
TIDE -13.5 vs RBARN
There are many ways that I want this game to go, here are some examples: clowning, pantsing, whomping, beat down, embarrassment, shameful, stomping, curb stomping, dog walking, smacking, undressing, mukduk and yeah that’s all I got for right now. Let me know what I missed.
I just wanna hear Milticket yell “Rooooolll Tide” at Jenny Dell. That would be a real day maker. Hugh Freeze crying would be nice too. Tide by 1 million.
FLORIDA +6.5 vs FSU
Let me be the first to say, as an alabama fan I hated seeing Jordan Travis get hurt last weekend. Great player. Now they got this backup who just goes to gas stations and hits the whip and nae nae while he’s pumping gas. Jordan Travis is gonna be paid to play football next year. This jabroni just wants to be a professional tik tok thot. He think he Livvy Dunne. Florida might just struggle win this game. Go gators
XANDERSON PARLAY
Like last week how we had our boy Garrett back as one of the only winners of this this year, we got Mike from Atlanta back on the call this week. Hand up here, he picked Oklahoma and that game happened yesterday and they won by a million but I didn’t realize it was yesterday so I didn’t bet it so for the purposes of records, if the parlay hits with that bet then he gets a win. He was nice enough to provide us with a saturday bet too tho. Enough about the technicalities, let’s grind ⏰➡️😈🦧
MIKE FROM ATLANTA: VANDY +27
“Just so many points”. When asked for comment that’s what we got. He also bullied me bc of the whole Oklahoma snafu yesterday. Tomato tomato. It be like it is. Anchor down.
DERS: LSU -11.5
They gonna run up the score on A&M in an effort to get Daniels the heisman. Crazy this dude is gonna win the heisman after when he transferred from Arizona state and his teammates were clearing out his locker and said “he’s ass, good riddance” lol. A real come uppance for the man. (I think it also helps he’s 24 and still playing cfb (that age could be incorrect but it’s not untrue he’s old)).
DOC: UGA -24.5
Georgia Tech is rlly rlly mid. They’re gonna make a bowl which is a huge step in the right direction, but they’re also gonna get molly whopped by UGA today. Shoutout the wrambling wreck, but they getting blown out today.