It feels good waking up with a heart full of hate. Just knowing that you’re better than every person who roots for your rival is the best. 364 days of jokes and name calling and hoping their school fails at everything is truly something to live for. But that said everything rests on this Saturday. Are you going the be the butt of the joke or are you going to be the joker? 👀. (I didn’t even mean to do that but I guess we’re going villain route).
Time to get the purge sirens going. Get the Freddy Krueger fingers sharpened. Get the Death Star on standby. Make sure your Spike 80DF is ready to get injected in some trees. Put your boots and jeans on. No shower today. Gotta be disgusting. Biggest day of the season right here. Also congrats to ole miss on the egg bowl. Can’t say I didn’t mention you.
OHIO STATE -19.5 vs MICHIGAN
I wish both of these teams could lose somehow but unfortunately they cannot. That is the law of the jungle sadly. For that reason, I gotta root for the biggest cheating scumbags in college sports to lose. Sadly that means rooting for Mark Richt, I mean Ryan Day.
FLORIDA -16.5 vs FREE SHOEZ
These two bummy programs gonna dual it out today to see which coach is gonna be ranked in the top 25 to start next season and which coach is going to be on the hottest seat in the country. Lagway is better than Ukelele and for that reason alone I am going with the gators but both these programs are in the Hell tier.
INDIANA -29 vs PURDUE
Temple of doom is lowkey terrifying and that’s where Purdue will be all day. I’ve tried playing with this team on NCAA and they are so ass. Indiana has been an ATS monster (except the last two weeks) and they should get back on track today. Hoosier daddy.
ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE -10.5 vs *********
No explanation needed. Time to teach little brother where he belongs. I hate this school. I hate their fans. I hate their colors. I hate Cam Newton. I hate Hugh Freeze. And I hate tigers. No time to play games today. Just get in and get out like assassins. No need to make a big scene. Just handle business and let’s move on. Roll MF Tide.
XANDERSON
Can’t believe we have the Action Network’s very own Big Chungus joining us this weekend. Gibby is quite the sharp and should have a winner for us. Hopefully his sous chef xanders has one too.
BIG RICC: VANDY +11 vs TENN
When asked for reason he just said “PAVIA”. That’s journalism baby.
XANDY: COCKS +2.5 vs CLEMPZIN
The explanation here was that we are anti any and all tigers today. Cocks by 90.
DOC: KANSAS +1 vs BAYLOR
All I gotta say is rock chalk. Kansas has held it down for me for 3 seasons now and this could be Jalon Daniels last ride. Shoutout the Jayhawks man. I might cry.