Best holiday of the year. So much food so much sports so much to gamble on and a great day to have multiple various periods of being drunk (lunch drunk, nap, afternoon drunk, more food, dinner drunk, dessert drunk, gremlin mode). Also we get to see the turducken and nfl players eating the humongous Turkey legs. Always love to see that. Now all we need is the macys parade to end so I can watch the motherland (Portugal, look it up, Carvalho is like the most popular name there) smack Ghana. Sorry bout it west africa. Roll Portugal. Don’t forget who the real Turkey is, looking at you Obama.
APPETIZERS AND PROPS
JJETTA 40+ receiving yards both halves
SAQUON DEEZ NUTZ anytime TD
DEMON TIME DEGENERATE BET OF THE DAY
20+ TD’s scored in all three games
In the words of Curtis Snow, “F em. We ball.” Pointsapalooza. In honor of Coach Madden we just need these guys to show us their TD’s all day.
THE MAIN COURSE: TURKEY WITH A PARLAY GARNISH
BILLS vs LIONS O 54.5
Points points points. The lions defense is atrocious. The lions offense rocks. JG hitting on all marks this year. QAmon Ra St Brown is conspiring to score many TD’s today. On the other side is uhhhhh mf Josh Allen and Stefon Diggs. Those boys be scoring. We cruise over 54.5.
COWBOYS -10.5 vs GIANTS
I hate this pick so much I love it. The cowgirls have a great defense and their offense is coming to life a little bit. But again I hate this bet but also it rocks. I think this is the game the train falls off the tracks for the GMen.
PATRIOTS +2.5 vs VIKINGS
Kirk Cousins in prime time. Auto fade. JJetta still will have a good game but Mac Jones will overcome. Belicheck not losing today.
DEVILLED EGGS PLAY OF THE DAY
EGG BOWL O 61.5
Apparently Kiffin going to ***urn but also double apparently Mike Leach is gonna retire due to health concerns??? What???? Both these guys have ass defenses and fire offenses tho. We gonna get a barn burner in the last iteration of this egg bowl. Points points points. LFG.
LATE NIGHT SNACK
TIDE HOOPS -3.5 vs MICHIGAN STATE
Brandon Miller. Mark Sears. Charles Bediako. Noah Pringle. 🍇🍇🍇. Whose Michigan state got? Tom Izzo and Rocket Watts (fire name)? Tide will roll today, tmo, and certainly on Saturday. LFG.