What a privilege it is to be back with you talking about football. We do a lot here (not really) and we talk about a lot of sports, but none of them are as fun as football. And specifically, college football. Here we are in the 3rd season of the intramural report and what a long way we’ve all come. More nicknames have been made, more bets have been lost, coach got married, we have some new guest contributors, and Bryce Young happened. It’s gonna be a great season and we’re happy to be back again. We trying some new things out this year that should be fun. Had to get the sappy post out of the way for week 0. The real fun starts next week (spoiler alert: we will be betting bama). Roll Tide. Spaghetti and Meatballs. Let’s get funky.
USC -30.5 vs SAN JOSE STATE
Only time I ever been to San Jose is when clempzon crushed alabama in the national championship game. I hate it there. I hope they lose by 70. USC is gonna be looking to make a statement in all of their games this year. They have the reigning heisman trophy winner and a good roster surrounding them. Lincoln Riley desperately wants to get this team to the playoff and this may be his best shot. Except that I think Caleb Williams is super overrated but that’s not the point. USC dominates the Spartans 63-17.
UMASS +7 vs NEW MEXICO STATE
This is a super random game. I know nothing about either of these teams except that my dad went to umass Boston. That’s really all I got. Good mascot matchup tho between Minutemen and Pistol Pete the Aggie. Only thing is that we hate Aggies here at the intramural report. And we are all minutemen, shout-out to the troops. Final score UMASS 17 New Mexico 21. Cover.
THE RETURN OF THE XANDERSON AND CO PARLAY
The hottest collaboration of the fall. Everyone wants to be a part of it. It’s very selective tho. This week, Xander is adding a different guest each week to help shape out the parlay. Who knows what next week holds.
NAVY vs NOTRE DAME u49.5
The pick this week is (unfortunately) Lil D aka the Wager Wizard. Due to his strong patriotism and hatred of all things un-American, he’s counting on the navy to once again defend this country from the enemy’s advancements. That’s why he’s banking on the navy to keep the score low and fortify its defenses.
JACKSONVILLE STATE vs UTEP o53.5
The next leg is by yours truly. This is a system play (my mom works at the school, I have to pick them to help do good things so I don’t get coal in my stocking) and I am confident that it’ll hit.
VANDY -17.5 vs HAWAII
Finally, the last leg of the parlay. The Xander zpecial. Nashville’s proudest son has to take the hometown team even though suck so much and their stadium fits like 5,000 people in it this year. What a joke. And the coach is aggressively bald. But also Hawaii has to time travel to make it to this game. The rainbow warriors won’t be able to move the ball against vandy and they won’t be able to stop them either. Vandy cruises.