What a beautiful day to curb stomp an Aggie. The sun is shining, the breeze is light, I’ve got on my under eye depuffing things courtesy of miss doc’s locks, the leaves are crinkly, the doctor is on the way to title town, sig ep is cleaning up their milk kegger from last night. All is right in the world. Except the fact that Jealous Jimbo™️ has decided to follow the teams schedule and come to Tuscaloosa. He is in for a reckoning. You take Jameis Winston away from Jimbo’s history and you’re gonna be left staring down Major Applewhite.

Truth be told I forgot to get my bets in before I left DC. All I’ve got is one measly parlay that I got in before I got to the DC airport that’s in Virginia but is on federal property so you can’t bet on any of the Virginia apps or the DC app. Just shows the closer you are to government the further away from a solution you are. Gonna have to call this the Anderson Bruehl/Steve Rodgers “It has to work because idk what I’m gonna do if it doesn’t” – Captain America Parlay. Forreal tho idk why imma do if it doesn’t hit because I will be bored and sad my one bet of the weekend failed. Positive Vibes Only.

The Anderson Bruehl/Steve Rodgers “It has to work because idk what I’m gonna do if it doesn’t” – Captain America Parlay

TENNESSEE -2.5 VS LSWHO???

12 seconds on the clock in Death Valley. LSU leads 21-17. Hendon Hooker is laying on the ground with a sprained pinky toe. They bring the stretcher out. Hooker is airlifted to Vanderbilt for emergency toe saving surgery. in comes #7. The man, the myth, the legend…Joe Milton. With 60 yards to get to the end zone Joe lines up under center and…takes a knee? A timeout is immediately called. There’s now 5 seconds left. UT sends their receivers on go routes and Joey M drops back and launches a nuke. Marquez Calloway (he’s definitely in the NFL now) hauls in the 60 yard touchdown pass thrown by the best player in the country and the Vols kick the extra point to cover the spread. Feels like 98.

BAMA -24.5 VS TAMU

Idk if this game is going to be more difficult for us Bama fans who have to survive until a 7PM kickoff or for the aggies (wtf is an Aggie also?). We are going to annihilate Texas agricultural and mining. This game will rival the 66-3 beat down of ole miss after the sec took forever to find out what we knew all along, Hugh Freeze-kind of a scumbag. Nick gonna put it on Jimbo today. “Look into his past” lol ok dude I guess you forgot you worked for the man so your past is his past??? Dummy. Tide will roll, Millticket will have 600 yards of offense. Bryce Young hot seat???

KENTUCKY -6.5 VS SOUTHERN CAROLINA

This is a weird line and I hate this bet but Dersagna took it at -9 earlier and the week and I sent him a “🤝 let’s ryde” so I have to stay loyal to that. Cats by 90.

ARKANSAS +9.5 VS MISS STATE

Mike Leach sucks. Sam Pittman does not suck. Hopefully KJ can be not horrible like he was last weekend. Woo Pig Sioux bb.