It has now been 56 days since a live professional sports game has been played by any of the four major sports leagues in America. Fifty-six days of being bored as hell with no escape from the sad realities of life; one big shit-filled cycle of misery. The other day I caught myself watching a NASA documentary on the varying theories of seismic quakes on the moon – can you believe that shit?

I’m so bored that I might finally learn to play guitar or pick up some dumb hobby like writing sports blogs to mindlessly fire off into the void of the internet. Idk, it’s all fair game at this point honestly. I’ve accepted that I’m now Andy when he’s asked if he’s okay after whatever Ann did to throw him into this downward spiral of emotions (side note: I love Andy but The Office is way better). The point is, without live sports life feels pointless.

I guess the classic games that ESPN and FOX Sports seem to have an endless supply of are better than nothing, but digital technology has made some major strides over the past 20 years. I mean seriously, was the picture quality really that awful in the 90s? Because that shit looks terrible now, but I digress.

For those of you like myself, sports are an escape from the harsh realities of life. For a few hours, you can detach yourself from your job, your bills, politics, whatever it is that’s stressing you. Just crack open a beer, kick back on your couch, and watch the action. You don’t have to decide what you’re going to do or watch because your favorite team is playing so that’s your plans for the night.

Now? Now I have to choose between watching the 2003 ALCS between the Yankees and Red Sox that ESPN is replaying for the sixth time or watching Tucker Carlson berate Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer for an hour straight because it’s the closest thing to live action that I can find.

I need that rush you get watching your team march down the field late in the 4th quarter to score a game winning touchdown, or if you’ve been a Tennessee fan for the past decade (i.e. me), watching the other team do that. I miss the feeling of my heart being ripped out of my chest and pissed all over by my favorite teams on national television as I swear that I’ll never watch another football game. I miss doing the same thing exactly seven days later.

Sports are therapeutic in that sense. Despite the crushing weight of clinical depression that hangs over your head when your team loses to an underdog like, oh, I don’t know, Georgia f’n State for example, we keep coming back for more because next time will be different.

When you have a bad day at the office you sure as hell don’t think, “Well, at least I get to come back here tomorrow.” Nope. You usually think about how you only have to endure this torture for another 40 years before you can finally retire in some beach town on the Florida panhandle to enjoy the last few years of your life if you’re lucky.

That’s what makes sports different and why we need them back so badly. To break from the theme of depression, doom, and gloom, some good news: sports will be back. We might not know when exactly, but they will definitely be back. So here’s to the day when we can all get way too drunk just to go scream in the bleachers like mad men (shoutout Don Draper), and then swear off sports forever when our team blows a late lead knowing that we’ll be back as soon as we can.

Cheers