Somehow the Caesar lost last week *gasp*. I don’t know how it happened. Actually yes I do. Tennessee and that dumbass, garbage man convention orange got deyassbeat by Kentucky. Absolute burial. Definitely what they wanted to happen going in to the toughest game of the year. Lort. Anyway, we’re still up overall on teasers for this CFB season which is big time. Let’s print some more benjis today.
SYRACUSE +53 vs CLEMSON
I mean. How do we not bet this? That’s so many freaking points. The spread being at 47 to begin with is just nuts. Yes Syracuse sucks and Clemson is really really really good, but you’re giving me half a hundred points and some change before I lose? Shmammer that.
COASTAL CAROLINA +3.5 vs GEORGIA SOUTHERN
Coastal Carolina is quietly ranked and Ryan McGee from MSESPN has them in his PLAYOFF right now. That’s nuts! They all have sick mullets and their mascot is a Chanticleer which is a cool word to look at. They’re also 3.5 point favorites which I’m betting straight up. They have a really good defense and a balanced offense. Let’s rock with the chandeliers in this one.
AUBRIN VS OLE MISS OVER 66.5
Bare with me as I give the dumbest explanation of this one. Both of these teams looked absolutely atrocious last weekend. Seriously, Ole Miss was in almost a trap game spot after the fight they gave the Tide and that was very apparent. They have the firepower to rack up silly points, but I don’t know that they were there mentally. A jimmy’s and joe’s issue vs x’s and o’s. On the flipside, Aubrin is kinda in the same spot. We got the bad Bo Nix last weekend. Like the “holy crap this guy has never played football in his life before” bad. There’s no way that happens again this weekend. Take the over here and cross your fingers this isn’t one of those random games Auburn’s defense decides to try.
TEMPLE vs MEMPHIS OVER 64
If you haven’t seen either of these teams play before I get it, but these teams are electric. Memphis has one of the most efficient passers in the country in Brady White (also what a qb name). He’s averaging over 900 feet passing per game. Pretty solid. And the best part is that their defense is poopoo. Love to see it. Au contraire (?) Temple hasn’t given up a sack all season. Their O Line is elite and they have thrown for over 500 yards in their past two games. That’s wild. Oh also their defense stinks too. This is an easy over.
KANSAS STATE -14 vs KANSAS
This is a burial. Kansas is absolutely awful and Kansas State has got their number. Don’t even think about this one, just bet on Kansas State and move along.
LSU +1 vs SOUTH CAROLINA
Betting on a team from Louisiana makes my stomach hurt. Makes me want to throw up (could be the hangover tho). That’s why you should trust me on this one. This is a blowout. LSU will win this game by 3 touchdowns. South Carolina just won their Super Bowl against Aubrin lol. Myles Brennan is gonna do like his family does and turn this South Carolina defense into a medium rare New York strip. Rip to the cocks.
Spaghetti and meatballs. Let’s get funky.