Another weekend another wedding. Single-handedly keeping southwest (🤢) in business. This weekend we in beautiful Birmingham alabama aka my home. About as close as you can get to a bama game without actually being at a bama home game. Playing golf this AM, in honor of the presidents cup for which I forgot to sell my ticket to, and then attending the festivities tonight. Shoutout the McEwen’s. If someone at your wedding is sweating out USC -5.5 just remember it’s not me even if it looks exactly like me it’s not me🤝. If the band plays “we are family” we are gonna be rioting. As a fella what are you supposed to do when they say me and all my sisters and me? Throw what you know? Throw that azz in a circle? Hand in left pocket, beer in right hand, tiny head bob? No good answer. Bathroom break song if ever there was one.

DUKE VS KANSAS OVER 63.5

“Carv you have to bet this Kansas over. #1 offense in college football. Averaging 55 points aka the double nickel”-Lyles. It worked last week and I don’t see why it doesn’t hit this week. Their offense is nuclear and they play absolutely zero defense. Through 3 games they’ve scored 159 points and allowed 82. That is over territory if I’ve ever seen it.

WAKE FOREST +7.5 VS CLEMPZON

I’m not gonna sit here and lie to you and pretend like I have any real reason for this bet other than that DJ U sucks and Sam Hartman was on QB1 and is sick. Oh shoot both these guys were on QB1. Sam Hartman was like a main character tho and DJ U was someone’s backup which he probably should still be. We rolling with demon deacs and Hartman today. 1 thing that could hurt us is that Clemson’s defense is insane. So fingies crossed

ARKANSAS mL VS TEX AM

You’ve heard of underdogs but have you ever heard of underhogs? Probably not. KJ Jefferson and company take it to Jealous Jimbo today and just pound it down their throats. AM really sucks imo 🙌 and Arkansas is probably gonna beat Alabama. They’ve looked like one of the best teams in the country and I wouldn’t be shocked if they could even beat Georgia. They may be a moneyline dog you have to take every weekend. Hogs win. Somebody turn that damn jukebox on

USC -5.5 VS OREGON STATE

Is this a trap line? Probably. Did it sucker me in? 100%. Am I going to have to wear a dunce hat the rest of the day? No but I should. I saw a couple days ago that Oregon state +6.5 had more action on it than any other college or nfl line this weekend. That’s 🅱️razy. But when those mf’s zig it’s time to zag. We rolling with the Trojans. Wtf is a beaver? Also are you kidding me with this game? It’s usc vs Oregon state I don’t understand why people are betting on Oregon state. Don’t overthink it. Ride with the blue blood.

THE XANDERSON BRÜÜÜÊĒŁ “THIS IS MY ONLY BET OF THE WEEKEND” PARLAY

TENNESSEE -10.5 vs FL

OKLAHOMA -12.5 vs K State

OHIO ST -19.5 vs WISCONSIN

TEXAS mL vs TEXAS TEXH

BAMA 1H -21.5 vs VANDY

This 5 legger is +1463 and I do not see which one of these loses. Let’s freaking go. Have a day amigos. Spaghetti and meatballs. Let’s get funky. Roll Tide.