Stand up and take a bow, Earl Thomas. You single handedly have the wildest NFL offseason story, so far.

For you folks that don’t know — According to TMZ: Nina Thomas, Earl’s wife, logged into his snapchat and tracked him down to an AirBnB where he was having an orgy with his brother and a couple other women. Wild.

I couldn’t help think of the Goodfellas scene where Karen wakes up Henry in bed with a gun to his head to confront him about the women he’s sleeping with.

Apparently, according to Nina, she removed the magazine or cleared out the bullets, idk it’s early I didn’t read specifics. What I DID READ is that there was a bullet in the chamber as she’s busting through the door to confront Earl, his brother, and the participants in this sexual affair.

Look, it’s clear: Earl Thomas is not clutch in the playoffs. He gets mauled by Derrick Henry on that massive run that changed the entire game. Now, he had the opportunity to redeem himself in the playoffs of sex, and gets mauled by his wife. Can’t compete. Not elite.

Cops received a call around 3:40 AM and when they arrived they found Nina chasing Earl around his car with a knife and the gun. They both surrendered peacefully without any issues. Apparently someone shot cell phone video of the entire thing. I need to see this video, minus the orgy stuff of course.

Allegedly, In the video you can see Nina with her finger ON THE TRIGGER ready to blast someone in the room. She had no idea there was a bullet in the chamber. Also in the video you see Nina pistol whipping Earl in the nose. Man, that sounds like a GIF waiting to happen.

Pistol whip + Derrick Henry playoff Stiff Arm = Twitter Content for days.

Even her mugshot is bad. ass. She has this confident soft smile on her face like “Yeah I did what I had to do. Fuck em”

That’s your report for Thursday, May 7, 2020.