My guilty pleasure: Professional Wrestling. From my young childhood days catching the end of the Attitude Era, growing up with the likes of Edge, Triple H, Batista, The Undertaker, WWE has been a comforting turn through and through in my life. This past year as Sports evaporated from the face of the Earth for months, WWE kept the lights on. Sure it’s scripted, even fake if you want to use that word, but when you view professional wrestling through the lens of amazing story telling, unmatched acrobatic athleticism, and the most fan engaged entertainment corporation, you realize why people love this bizarre world so much. And as fake as you may call it, you can’t fake falling 35 feet through a table. Gravity cares not. But today is one of the greatest days of the Professional Wrestling Calendar, the Royal Rumble. 30 men, one ring, one to stand above them all and clinch their main event title match at the granddaddy of them all, Wrestlemania. Let’s preview these matches and give out a few predictions: *NO OFFICIAL SPOILERS*

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship match: Asuka and Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax

Three top tier women’s wrestlers, and Nia Jax, all in a match that seems to not fir their mantra very well. All four of these women are primetime performers, all deserving of highly anticipated singles matches and here we find them again, in a tag team championship match. This could be good, with some amazing highlights, but Shayna Baszler needs to get her singles career moving forward again. Maybe they will set this up for a Shayna vs Nia Jax match soon, but I would expect the belts to stay with the two best in WWE right now, possibly setting up for a Wrestlemania match the people have been asking for, Flair vs Asuka.

WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship match: Sasha Banks (c) vs. Carmella

Whatever happens in this match, new Carmella is an amazing character. What a fantastic heel character they have been able to turn her in to. After seeing what her sommelier Reginald was capable of against Sasha, I would expect some type of interference with him here, possibly another baited distraction with some of his exceptional acrobatic skills, but ultimately, Sasha should keep this belt to keep her momentum going forward towards Wrestlemania.

WWE Championship match: Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Goldberg

If any title will change hands tonight, this could be the match. To be honest, I have no idea what route WWE will want to run with in this direction, and that’s what makes this storyline interesting. Frankly there hasn’t been as much build-up to this match as I would like, but due to McIntyre being out a few weeks with COVID, understandable and I think they have done well. It will be wild to say what they want to do, either keep McIntyre on the train he’s been on, or will they allow Goldberg to become mortal once again. Either way this match will have a decently sized down turn for the loser.

The Miz and the Money in The Bank Contract. I hope the WWE has something crazy planned for this. It seems all year they haven’t had a clue what they have wanted to do with the brief case, and is probably the most disappointing storyline WWE has pulled together all year. They keep hyping up Miz and Morrison with the briefcase, but keep making them look weak by losing week after week. Morrison is an unreal talent and should be booked better, and the MIB should be one of the craziest moments of the year, and there are low expectations for both right now.

Universal Championship Last Man Standing match: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Kevin Owens

New Roman Reigns is the best thing in all facets of professional wrestling right now. WWE clearly wants to keep pushing Reigns, but turning him heel, allowing him to be this badass almost mafia style leader, with the Tribal Chief title, has been a refreshing and intimidating way of getting him over with the fans. Not to mention he’s never looked bigger or more powerful in his entire life. Kevin Owens always goes all out in his matches and I expect this match to be nothing but spectacular with another big moment happening, after teasing with the fall he took a few weeks ago. Perhaps the most important part of this match will be how this sets up the Smackdown Title for Wrestlemania. If Reigns wins, all eyes will be looking for The Rock to return to challenge his family member Reigns for his “Tribal Chief” title, but if the title ends in Owens hands tonight, who knows where we’re going to go. Should be the best match outside of the Rumble tonight.

Women’s Royal Rumble match

There’s still much unknown about women’s rumble matches, especially with them having to pull so many from the NXT roster which would be hard to imagine any of them winning a spot in Wrestlemania. Therefor, there’s really only three ways I can expect this to end. First being a victory from Shayna Baszler. This time last year, she started on an unprecedented dominant run that carried into the Elimination chamber, and everyone was expecting big things coming from her in Wrestlemania, and frankly has been disappointing since. She’s one of the most ruthless single competitors and hopefully a Rumble win will put her into the top tier of Women’s Wrestling. Second, the EST, Bianca Belair. Absolutely incredible run these last few weeks, topping off with this past week getting her biggest win of her career beating Bayley. She’s got the momentum, she’s got the talent, she’s got the mic work, a Belair vs Banks Wrestlemania matchup would be a dream. Lastly, and this could be a huge stretch because I know nothing about pregnancy, but the return of Becky Lynch would be the biggest possible pop tonight.

Men’s Royal Rumble match

Who knows. I have no clue how this is going to run. A lot of speculation around Daniel Bryan finally winning the Rumble, a possibility of a CM Punk return (granted that fantasy will always be a factor), possibility of a setup for an Edge vs McIntyre Wrestlemania, a Cena return, who knows. Who fucking knows. I don’t and that’s what makes the Rumble so great. My only advice is to buckle up and enjoy the ride, a COVID Bubble Rumble in Tampa the week before the Super Bowl is played there, anything and everything could happen.