Friends, your boy is down bad. I am lying in a dark room with a fan on my face squinting into the screen. My head is occasionally throbbing, my nose is stopped up, my throat is a little itchy. I am a hungover man battling the sniffles. And I may soon pass away. But I have one last thing to give to the world. And it is these locks. I came up with them this morning. Let’s get this bread.

Week 12 Locks

Oregon State -1.5 vs Washington

I’m an agent of chaos.

Northwestern vs Purdue – Under 50 points

This game sounds so absolutely terrible that I love it. This will require extreme dedication to watch this game. Screams under.

New Mexico State +26.5 vs Lee County

Hold up, New Mexico State is a little good this year? Auburn fans already saying “you know… this is the kinda year where we trip up Nick Saban again…” screams look ahead game. Auburn wins. But 26.5 is way too many points.

The ALL DAY PARLAY

this may be my best piece of work yet.

12:00 Louisville +1.5 vs Miami

3:30 Iowa vs Illinois Under 32.5

8:00 Texas vs Iowa State O 46

Poppy Parlay:

Poppy is in Biloxi this weekend so he’s got his own bookie and this weekend. He’s doing research for bowl season. He’s a bowl season specialist so get ready for a full bowl season preview coming soon.

Chicks dig the long ball. And please someone door dash me a Gatorade.