Alright folks it’s about time I introduced myself here. This place needs a voice of reason and who better than Florida man himself. Between wrestling gators, hanging with Jimmy Buffet, and cruising my yacht to Bimini I work a shitty 9-5 and enjoy college football so here we are. Fuck your bookie, let’s roll.
Florida +14 vs Georgia
Let’s just get this out of the way. The world’s largest outdoor cocktail party only comes once a year and I don’t expect this one to disappoint. Dan Mullen is officially on the hot seat and this game will have serious implications on whether gator fans can get behind him for another season. Georgia has not stumbled yet, which is especially impressive seeing how its Friday morning and they don’t know who their QB is. This is a classic Dan Mullen team that plays to their competition and you can expect this to be close. If Florida can run the ball and Anthony Richardson is given the opportunity to make some plays this might be an interesting one.
Oh who is Anthony Richardson? He’s the 240 lb backflipping freshman QB who should be on your Heisman watch for 2022. Georgia will stumble and this one might come down to the wire. Remind yourself Georgia only scored 3 offensive points against Clemson, bet your rent, and thank me Saturday.
Iowa +3.5 at Wisconsin
I saw this and didn’t even believe it. Wasn’t Iowa #2 in the country just two weeks ago or was that a fever dream? I don’t care about losing to Purdue, this Wisconsin team has issues, and you can expect Iowa to take care of business here coming off a bye week and looking to make a statement. Won’t be pretty but before you know it people will be hyping them up again before the inevitable Ohio state match up. Slam this and forget about it.
Duke at Wake under 71 Points
I know I am going to take some heat here but hear me out. Obviously WF scored an absurd number of points last week against an atrocious army team. But look yourself in the mirror. You are better than that. Verbal meme idiot brain person taking the over because of last week and large brain person knowing this WF offense will be hungover and no way is going to put up more than 45. On top of this Duke sucks. Be better than the average bear. The under is for intellectuals.
Baylor -2.5 vs Texas
Baylor is a seriously overlooked team with a top 10 rushing attack in the country. All of Texas’s losses (Arkansas, Oklahoma, and OK Sate) all ran over Texas with over 220 rushing yards in each. Baylor will control this game. Horns down.
Ohio State -18.5 vs Penn State
Ohio state is rolling. They do this every year – slip up early, then start steam cleaning teams as the year progresses. Penn State is dead with serious questions at QB. Buckeyes by 3 tds.